The world is turning more and more into a sick place. It is so hard to see the bright side when you witness police brutality in broad daylight; when you hear women getting sexually assaulted by religious authorities to whom they sought help and solace; when you see people having their access to economic and social resources denied because of systemic injustice.
It is hard to enjoy life when you know somebody out there was killed for having certain skin color; when you know somebody out there was jailed for speaking up about their lacking government; when you know somebody out there was ostracized by nameless internet users who were only in for the euphoria. It is getting harder to draw the line of what to care and not to care about, to celebrate amidst someone else's pain, to seek happiness amidst someone else's struggle.
It is getting even harder to look at social media because you will see both sides of the coin at the same time. One tweet from your favorite celebrity brings a smile to your face, but then another tweet from the news outlet sparks rage inside your head because apparently, a young dad of a two-year-old boy was killed by the police on his way to a car wash for no apparent reason. It is a sickening reality, but it is what it is.
It is hard to draw the line because you feel empathy for this person you barely even know; because you know there is something wrong with the system, and as much as you want to change it, you know it is not easy to topple down a wall built of pure, irrational hatred that is deeply rooted in our history; because you feel guilty for not being able to do more given that you have the platform and privilege to do so.
The world is hurting, and some people are simply not built to cope with it. It is both a blessing and a curse to be living in this era of hyperconnectivity. You see the worst and the best of humanity at almost the same time, right in the palm of your hand. Some people try to change the way things work for the better, some others quite literally just want to see the world burn.
Some people, on the other hand, have no choice but to tune out the whole world to seek peace, but they never truly know peace for their mind is in constant turmoil. The guilt alone is killing them. They find reality disappointing, but they are more disappointed by the fact that they cannot do anything to change that reality. They are more disappointed in themselves than the whole world combined.
How do you live in a world so sick? How do you sleep at night when the idea of being able to sleep soundly at night is a luxury for some, taken for granted by others?
Everyone deserves to be happy, but not everyone has the access to happiness in whichever way you want to interpret it. Everyone deserves a good life, but not everyone knows how to live well without being selfish and hurting the world even more. Some people have their life built on solid concrete. Others are hanging by a thread, perpetually a step away from falling into the pit of systemic disadvantages.
Perhaps, life is all about seeing the good and the bad while standing in the grey area of your own moral compass. Perhaps, life is about picking a side and, once you do, turning a blind eye on the imperfect reality you will find on both sides of that coin. Perhaps, you have been romanticizing life, knowing how disappointing it truly is in the first place.
Perhaps, this is what life is all about.
