I am borderline a perfectionist in contrast to the nature of my current line of work, which is extremely fast-paced and highly demanding. Sometimes, it frustrates me to no end when I feel like I do not have enough time to craft my words to perfection. But the goal is not to be perfect; it is to be convincing enough so that people willingly take a certain action.
After months of questioning my ability, I finally came to terms with the fact that in the end, while I am at work, I am not crafting a piece of art. If only I could, I would have poured my love for rhymes and poetry into every single piece I work on. But people want to get straight to business. They are not here to appreciate our work. They are here to get what they want.
And so I learned to separate work and passion. A lot of people would tell you to pursue a career according to your passion. Do not fall for that. Most of the time, in reality, you are not there to create the things you are passionate about. You are there to serve people. I just happen to serve them with my words, and I am not even that great at it.
I am lucky enough, however, that I now have more creative space than ever before. I am forever grateful for that, but the space is not entirely mine. Thus, I have rules to abide by and limitations to watch out for. The best I can do is to leave a trace of me in every work I do. A signature one cannot see with naked eyes. A piece of me in every single word I write.
I have my pride and looking back, I am extremely proud of the fact that I have made it this far. I never thought that I would ever witness my words manifested into something real. And I am falling in love once again with writing despite the painful process and the abundance of pressure, mostly the ones I put on myself.
All this time I tend to feel inadequate, secretly incapable of doing what I am supposed to do. In the end, however, as long as the message is clear and people receive them the way it is intended to be, then my job is done. It is not about what I want. It is about what they need.
In a world where you are required to produce something fast, there is no room for perfectionism. There is always, however, room for imagination and creativity, and that is what keeps me going. I might never have another chance like this, so while I am here, I will pour myself into every challenge coming my way, every single task calling for my expertise.
If I mess up, which I actually did many times, I try not to blame myself too much. I have learned to focus on cleaning up the mess instead of grieving for my mistake. Again, there is no room for perfection, but there is always room for improvement. We learn from our mistake and we move on.
Most importantly, I have reminded myself repeatedly that we work to live, not the other way around. Our job does not completely define who we are. We work to make a living, and if you concentrate too much on making a living, you probably would not have the chance to enjoy the living part itself. Oh, the irony.
And on the brink of death, nobody would ask for another day to finish their tasks at work. What really matters is being surrounded by the people who care about you and you care about. We already spend at least one-third of our day, five days a week, working and so we need to use the rest to actually live. To have a life.
There is so much more to life than a job, and in order to appreciate its beauty, I have decided to use the rest of my time pursuing things that I always dream about, writing a piece that I never even get to start, crafting my dreams through words that I certainly cannot pour in my workplace. Life is my muse, and so I have to enjoy living it.
Cheers.
